Composting Culture and Rhythms

As we prepare to gather together, I would like to provide some guidance about how we relate to one another in our shared spaces, what you can expect from me and how to get the experience you need from our work.

There’s also space for us to co-create our culture and set our rhythms as we go. There will be elements of our relationships that will emerge unpredictably to surprise and delight us as we learn more about one another over the weeks ahead.
Some principles that capture the culture we are seeking in this work…

Consent, Collaboration, Care, Equity, Agency
Ways that these principles can come to life in our shared space…

We know who we are gathering with. At the start of the first session, I’ll ask you to share a little about yourself and what’s brought you to the group. I’ll also ask that we have cameras on as much as we can to preserve psychological safety. Of course you are welcome to turn it off if you have something going on like caring responsibilities or illness or you need to eat during the session, etc- you have agency, and everyone’s needs get held in balance. Through subsequent sessions I’ll check in as to whether everyone present has ‘met’ before.

I won’t demand that you speak or share anything you don’t want to.
Everything is invitational…

And you are invited to participate in ways that make sense for you. The sessions are conversational, and you are invited to use the chat function as per your preference. This might be that you’d like to share a thought without interrupting someone’s flow or that you’d like to share a resource, etc. Or you might like to make your own contributions to a conversation there because it might feel more accessible to you.

Collaboration is inconsistent. (Don’t get me started on how consistency is a scam)! Some sessions you might feel brimming with words, others you might prefer to sit back a little more. It might be helpful for you to consider that active listening is a contribution, as much as sharing something meaningful is. Maybe consider- do I like my reasons for participating in this way today? If there’s a healthy awareness that you are meeting your needs in the present moment, great. Perhaps you will notice that there’s an unhelpful concern about how you will be perceived that’s stopping you from asking for support- if this is the case, you might find that simply naming this helps you feel a shift. The same is true of the group space for between calls.

Everyone offers and receives unconditional positive regard. This does not mean we can’t disagree about things - one of the most thrilling things that happens in groups I’m hosting is healthy conflict- meta and key for us here when we have so few experiences of it. “If it’s going to take all of us, give me sticky, sticky relation”, as Lola Olufemi offers. Unconditional positive regard means I am ok, you are ok, and we are both doing our best here, making generous assumptions about one another.

Feedback is wholly welcome. There will be a formal request for feedback at the end of our work together, and your reflections and suggestions are welcome at any time. I trust you to let me know if anything is said or done that makes you uncomfortable, or if you’d like to let me know something that would improve your experience of our work together. You can do this by email or by DM on instagram. If there is a rupture in our relationships, I will take responsibility for facilitating repair. Re logistics etc some changes may be possible, others may not- my commitment is to give careful consideration to your feedback and to respond to you in a timely way, sharing my thinking.

Arriving… I know very well how hectic and demanding life can be in this late stage Capitalism shitshow. You might like to think about how you support yourself to arrive in the space to get the experience you need. This could include having a buffer of time set aside to make sure your basic needs are met, or some sort of check in with yourself at the mid point between our meetings where you consider what’s present for you - anything you wanted to think more about, anything that’s bubbling up to bring.

I am really looking forward to gathering with you soon. If you have any Qs about what I’ve shared here or anything else, please feel free to email me or send me a DM on Instagram.